ANG DISYERTO NG TUNAY

binura ko ‘yung mahabang post.

ahaha, wala kasing saysay.

Believe that even in my deliberateness I was not deliberate.
Though why should I whine,
Whine that the crime was other than mine?–
Since anyhow you are dead.
Or rather, or instead,
You were never made.
But that too, I am afraid,
Is faulty: oh, what shall I say, how is the truth to be said?
You were born, you had body, you died.
It is just that you never giggled or planned or cried.
- Brooks, “The Mother”

I ate my food between massacres.
The shadow of murder lay upon my sleep.
And when I loved, I loved with indifference.
I looked upon nature with impatience.
- Brecht, “To Posterity”

naiinis ako kasi pinatay nila si trip.  dapat nagkatuluyan si trip at t’pol.  pero kahit na hindi, dapat di pa rin pinatay si trip.  naging pilit tuloy, pekeng poignance.  also, out of place ‘yung episode na "observer effect."  mahusay ang season na ‘to kahit walang mga ethical puzzles kasi puro action.  kaya wala talaga sa lugar ‘yung episode na ‘yan.  mahusay ‘yung 3-episode arc tungkol sa vulcans, pati na rin ‘yung tungkol sa andorians, tsaka ‘yung 2-parter tungkol sa klingons.  pinakakawawa talaga sa buong 4 na seasons si hoshi, kasi bagaman meron s’yang silbi, walang pag-uungkat tungkol sa kanyang pagkatao.  at least si mayweather naexplore ang pamilya sa season 2.  overall ang pinakamahusay na season ay 3, at ‘yan ay kahit na di ko napanood ang 3 episdoes nun (kaya ako nagpalit na ng pinagkukuhanan ng pirata).  sayang nga lang at tapos na ang franchise, pero i have to say that i like scott bakula better than patrick stewart.  ewan ko, siguro after voyager pagtripan ko naman ang orihinal na serye.  disappointing kasi si t’pol bilang vulcan, samantalang si spock sa mga pelikula talagang… well, vulcan.  live long and prosper.  siguro ang iniisip ng writers/producers makokornihan ang bagong viewers pag todo hand gesture pa, pero ewan ko, it’s part of what makes star trek sometimes better than star wars e, ‘yung pagdelve into strange cultures.  tas tatanggalin pa nila.  mas catchy naman ang "the need of the many outweigh the needs of the few" kaysa "may the force be with you".  pero talagang di nila dapat pinatak si trip.

maligayang kaarawan. sana’y masaya ka.  hindi ako nangungulila. iniisip ko lang, sana nagkahiwalay tayo on better terms.  pero ang gusto ng diyos, gusto ng diyos.  sabi ko naman kasi sa ‘yo, mali ka, tama ako.  napatunayan ko, nito lang.  nakakalungkot, pero at least vindicated ako.  your solution is THE solution, but it’s not for us.  not for my people.  perhaps when you one day understand yourself, you can understand us.  and then maybe, maybe, you can understand me.  alam ko, di ko man lang kahit kailan nasabi sa ‘yo, kahit nung sa wakas ay sinabi ko sa ‘yo, kaya sasabihin ko na sa ‘y4950349

What was the nicest thing someone told you about yourself = you write the way you speak The most touching experience you’ve had

this year? = walking with chuck from diliman to philcoa, finally revealing the truth about cats and dogs What did you like most about yourself this year? = using guantamo bay in a sentence What did you

hate most about yourself this year? = karuwagan, not being able to use all the people i could have Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: = ibang survey nga, parehong tanong naman. isinumpa yata

tayong friends Was 2006 a good year for you? = sa mga suso ng liwanag e What was your favorite moment of the year? = si

bonifacio ang buwan, si rizal ang araw What was your least favorite moment of the year? = see above Where were you when 2006

began? = with blood Who were you with? = er… Where will you be when 2006 ends? = probably in tagaytay, but batangas is sounding

good as well Who will you be with when 2006 ends? = alone, o ‘yung isang taong d’yan ehem ehem kung sasama s’ya Do you have a new years resolution for 2007? = i resolve to choose a road, stick with it,

suffer if i have to, and finally, finally, confess to an actual priest What was your favorite month of 2006? = i’ll go with march Did you lose anybody close to you in 2006? = well, hindi namatay. *sigh* pero

parang ganun nga ang feeling -> prepreho lang pala ang inog ng mundo natin Did you miss anybody in the past year? = very much. i miss her like i miss god. What was your favorite record from 2006? =

anthology two How many concerts did you see in 2006? = isa lang, si jim concert Did you drink a lot of alchohol in 2006? = yuck! Do a lot of drugs in 2006? = yup You do anything you are ashamed of this

year? = kapag totoo, di kinakahiya. pag nakakahiya, di ginagawa. ha! How much money did you spend in 2006? = ganito na lang, 20k sa cards lang. wait, 30 pala. What was your proudest moment of 2006?

= using guantamo bay in a sentence, pero since i’ve done that to death: punning ethics/etits in a paragraph. What was your most

embarrassing moment of 2006? = naku, naglalakad ako mula shopping, tas dumura ako, e sabi ni zarathustra wag daw duduraw laban sa hangin, e di ko sinunod, ayun, naduraan ko sarili ko If you could go

back in time to any moment of 2006 and change something, what would it be? = wala. amor fati What are your plans for 2007? = get 2/14 of the kariton cycle out out How are you different now that the

year has ended? = a… oo What are your wishes for the new year? = talaga naman. talaga naman.

What was the nicest thing someone told you about yourself = you write the way you speak The most touching experience you’ve had

this year? = walking with chuck from diliman to philcoa, finally revealing the truth about cats and dogs What did you like most about yourself this year? = using guantamo bay in a sentence What did you

hate most about yourself this year? = karuwagan, not being able to use all the people i could have Quote a song lyric that sums up your

year: = ibang survey nga, parehong tanong naman. isinumpa yata tayong friends Was 2006 a good year for you? = sa mga suso ng

liwanag e What was your favorite moment of the year? = si bonifacio ang buwan, si rizal ang araw What was your least favorite moment of the year? = see above Where were you when 2006

began? = with blood Who were you with? = er… Where will you be when 2006 ends? = probably in tagaytay, but batangas is sounding

good as well Who will you be with when 2006 ends? = alone, o ‘yung isang taong d’yan ehem ehem kung sasama s’ya Do you have a new years resolution for 2007? = i resolve to choose a road, stick with it,

suffer if i have to, and finally, finally, confess to an actual priest What was your favorite month of 2006? = i’ll go with march Did you lose anybody close to you in 2006? = well, hindi namatay. *sigh* pero

parang ganun nga ang feeling -> prepreho lang pala ang inog ng mundo natin Did you miss anybody in the past year? = very much. i

miss her like i miss god. What was your favorite record from 2006? = anthology two How many concerts did you see in 2006? = isa lang, si jim concert Did you drink a lot of alchohol in 2006? = yuck! Do a lot of drugs in 2006? = yup You do anything you are ashamed of this

year? = kapag totoo, di kinakahiya. pag nakakahiya, di ginagawa. ha! How much money did you spend in 2006? = ganito na lang, 20k sa cards lang. wait, 30 pala. What was your proudest moment of 2006? = using guantamo bay in a sentence, pero since i’ve done that to death: punning ethics/etits in a paragraph. What was your most embarrassing moment of 2006? = naku, naglalakad ako mula shopping, tas dumura ako, e sabi ni zarathustra wag daw duduraw laban sa hangin, e di ko sinunod, ayun, naduraan ko sarili ko If you could go back in time to any moment of 2006 and change something, what would it be? = wala. amor fati What are your plans for 2007? = get 2/14 of the kariton cycle out out How are you different now that the year has ended? = a… oo What are your wishes for the new year? = talaga naman. talaga naman.

1] What is your middle name?

- not today, cia

[2] What color is your mailbox?

- what the hell is a mailbox?

[3] Are you available?

- married na e. but get the joke? mail box? hahahaha.

[4] Have you ever hit a deer?

- naman. kaso ayaw n’ya sa pick up line ko.

[5] Do you have to drive over a bridge

to get home?

- uhuh. balete bridge. bridge jones’ diary.

[7] Who checks the mail in your house.

- wala naman kaming nakukuha e

[8] Do you have a small driveway?

- di, lake. tatlong kotse namin kasya.

[9] Do you know anyone with the same

ringtone as you?

- wala. jologs akni e

[10] What do you do first in the

morning?

- mumog. honestly, there’s something erotic about gurgling, ewan kung ano.

11] What brand is your printer?

- samson.

[12] Do you enjoy fighting with people?

- my name is kim samson

[13] Is your hair naturally straight

or curly?

- curly. which reminds me of an amusing anecdote involving, get this, three restaurants, 10 elves AND jesus christ.

[14] Who was your kindergarten teacher?

- di ako nagkindergarten. pang mayaman lang ‘ynu

[16] Are you taller than your mother?

- no, but i’m fatter than my father. does that count?

[17] Do you have a favorite word?

- sasabihin ng marami "titi," pero sa totoo lang–ay wala akong maisip na bastos. sayang ang joke.

[18] Are you good in school?

- nope

[20] Do you enjoy writing in colored

pens?

- naman

[21] Does anything hurt on your body

right now?

- oo. pag basic bodily functions biglang may involved na dugo, alam mo naman you should stop eating tapioca

[22] Do you often cry during a movie?

- pag sad. sad movies always make me cry.

[25] Do you hate your life?

- nope, pero i wish i was… me.

[26] Do you get mad easily?

- uu. actually, permanent state ko naman ang anger, at ‘yung himala ay pag di ako galit. i’m like devon sawa in that regard.

[27] Do you smoke?

- devan sawa ang iyot! may nakakilala pa ba sa kanya?

[28] What is your biggest pet peeve?

- ewan. sa aking state of permanent anger, pakiramdam ko lahat ng bagay mababaw

[30] Do any of your friends have kids?

- a… let me see… i would think that all of my friends will die childless, lonely and insane. but that’s just my estimate.

[33] How many years older than you are

you willing to date?

- let me put it this way, friendster ko si madam auring.

[34] Do you have any friends?

- DUH?!

-> man!

[35] Do you have any mean friends?

- hay naku, napanood ko ‘yung trailer ng mean girls, ang ganda pala ni lindsay lohan.

[36] What is the ugliest color in your

opinion?

- yes.

[37] Have you ever liked someone who

all your friends couldn’t stand?

- hmm… here’s a clue. kung hate s’ya ng friends mo, s/he’s going to drag you to hell. kung di s’ya kilala ng friends mo, you’re going to hell.

[38] Have you ever felt like driving

off a cliff, seriously?

- oo naman, cliff notes.

[40] Do you itch your ears?

- kulang ng b

[42] What brand are the pants/jeans

you’re wearing right now?

- i don’t wear pants pag pasko

[43] How tall are you?

- 4′11, but that’s after dinner

[45] What is on your feet?

- water.

[48] Do you want to have kids?

- sure. tipong 7. pito is my lucky number.

[49] What is the brightest color

you’re wearing?

- yellow

[50] Who is the friend you have that

you would never have expected to know?

- huh? i don’t have any friends.

[55] Do you like your dad?

- who doesn’t. o, message para sa mga evil people:

you have forgotten the face of your father.

[56] Do you have any TV shows on DVD?

- FIREFLY! VERONICA MARS!

-> oy clara, meron ka ng season 3 ng mars?

hanggang 2 lang ako e.

[57] Are you wearing makeup?

- yup, basta madaling araw.

[58] Do you have a tattoo?

- uu

[61.] Do you know how to draw?

- d

[64] Who did you last IM?

- sebastian

[65.] Do you work a lot of hours?

- no

1.fave street food?

>>> sorbetes

2.fave pasta?

>>> yoko nyan

3.fave food pag summer?

>>> sinigang na baboy. ‘yan ang commitment. ‘yan ang pagmamahal.

4.fave food pag umuulan?

>>> sinigang na baboy.

5.fave food pag nanonood ng sine?

>>> hotdog tsaka pop corn tsaka coke

6.fave shake?

>>> mangga!

7.fave night-out drink?

>>> huh?

8.favorite softdrinks?

>>> COKEEEEEE

9.fave food pag nasa beach?

>>> pag sinabi ko bang sinigang na baboy, pupunta ‘kong hell?

10.fave drink/food pag galit?

>>> kahit anong nakakasikip ng dibdib.

11.fave cuisine?

>>> cajun

12.fave dessert?

>>>sinigang na baboy

13.fave breakfast?

>>> milo at peanut butter

14.fave kind of chocolate?

>>> m/m nuts

15.fave food na iniihaw?

>>>babuy

16. fave food na may sabaw?

>>> sinigang.

17. handa mo nung birthday mo?

>>> di kami nagdiriwang ng bertdey sa bahay e.

18.best place to have coffee?

>>> sinigang na baboy.

19.saan sulit kumain pag gutom?

>>> sa… bahay!

20.best palaman sa tinapay?

>>> egg!

21.favorite ice cream flavor?

>>> choco

22.milo or ovaltine?

>>> milo

23.pagkain na hindi mo kakainin?

>>>gulay

24.lagi ka bang gutom?

>>>oo, sabi ng doktor ko, next time daw, kuko ko na lang tirahin ko

25.san ka willing mag spend para sa food

>>> basta ako ang nagdikta ng lugar, kahit

libre kita

28.anong food ang ipagdadamot mo?

>>> hmm… ewan. pag marangya kasi buhay, generous

29.sinong kilala mong kain ng kain

>>> jughead

30.eh diet ng diet pero hindi > pumapayat?

>>> shrugs

31.Anong sikat na pagkain sa lugar nyo?

>>> dorobo’s, sa may kanto. bakery/pizza place.

32. Anong pagkain lagi mong pinupuslit?

>>> what that mean?

33.Lagi mong hinihingi sa kaklase mo?

>>> hmm… kahit ano. si vlad galante sa pagkain.

34.Gusto mong kainin ngayon na ngaun na?

>>> hay naku, naunahan ako sa

kabastusan

35.Kung isa na lang kakainin mo sa buong

buhay ano to?

>>> chicken joy o kaya sinigang na baboy. toss up

35.Ano kinakain mo ngayon habang

sinasagutan ang survey na ito?

>>> snickers!

20. ano nagpapahirap ng loob mo?

- pag-akyat ng hagdan. kanina muntik na ‘kong mahulog. shh… ikaw lang

nakakaalam :0

19. ano mas gusto mo: tahimik kang

nasasaktan o alam ng lahat?

- alam ng lahat! that’s "damay"

18. ano ang mga bagay na sa tingin mo

mababaw iyakan?

- lahat, pwera problema sa pamilya.

17. kung iiyak ka ulit, ano ang

dahilan?

- magupitan ng pangit

16. sabi nila, what you dont know wont

hurt u. tama? panu pag nalaman mo na?

- hay naku, pag you don’t know that a bus is coming, tas nasagasaan ka, that hurts di ba?

15. sakaling bigyan ka ng pagkakataong

magtanong sa Diyos, ano tatanong mo?

- itlog ba, manok?

14. ano ba silbi ng survey sayo?

- wala lang, para may dahilang di gawin ang assignment

13. sa lahat ng nagawa mo ngayong

araw, ano pinagsisisihan mo?

- ang palampasin

ang pagkakataong magkaroon ng

panghabang buhay na alaala

-> this is just too nice not to copy

12. marami ka pa bang gustong gawin sa

buhay?

- ang gusto ko lang ay kasama s’ya, kausap s’ya, kasipi–er… kahawak-kamay s’ya

11. pag sinabi ba syo na malapit nang

dumating ang taong para sayo,

maniniwala ka?

- ako lang ba, o ang funny kong sumagot ng survey?

10. 5 years from now, may pamilya ka

na. ung asawa mo kaya ung taong

inaasam mo?

- ha? ba’t ko naman aasawahin kung di ko inaasam?

9. ano pa ba ang hinihintay mo?

- mauna s’ya, tang ina. ba’t naman ako aamin?

8. masakit kalimutan ang isang bagay,

lalo na ang isang tao. pano ka

maglibang ng sarili?

- una, ibaba ang shorts

7. magiging masaya ka kaya kung makuha

mo nga yung taong mahal mo pero di ka

nya mahal?

- labo naman nun. shempre mas mahusay na mahal ka nya kahit di mo s’ya mahal,

para you’re free to adultery, tas dahil mahal ka n’ya titiisin n’ya, e kung baliktad, tas s’ya nagmamahal ng iba, tas mahal mo kaya kahit adulterer di mo maiwan. di ba?

6. anong feeling ng laging iniiwanan?

- tipong para kang dura

5. sakaling makita mo na sya, handa ka

ba ulit sumugal at masaktan?

- oo naman

3. malayo na ang narating mo,

babalikan mo pa ba ang nakaraan?

- di naman ako umalis. nandyan pa rin ako… sa puso mo… sinarapan!

2. ano pa ang halaga ng i love you

ngayon?

- piso, tas libre pa kung unlimitxt

1. isang salita lang ng totoong

nararamdaman mo ngayon.

- MASALIMUOT

gotta get off the internet, gotta get off the internet, gotta get off the internet

o sige, mali ako.  at malupit.  at narsi.  at hindi ko dapat ginawa ‘yung ginagawa ko.  pero hindi ko kasalanan.  o–hindi KO lang kasalanan.  kaya, ayun.  pero sige, responsibilidad ko.  anong gusto n’yong gawin ko? 

hindi ko alam kung anong magiging ending nito.  kailangan ko ang tulong mo. 

Yehey, lumabas ang artikulo ko sa Pinoy Weekly!  Ang pinakapaborito kong episode ng Gilmore Girls ay ‘yung pumunta ang mag-ina sa Oxford tas napagmalan si Lorelei na estudyante at may nakipagflirt sa kanya.  Balita n’ya kay Rory: "I used ‘existialist’ in a sentence!"  Ako naman proud at nabanggit ko ang Guantanamo Bay sa sanaysay!

Yehey, nasa panitikan.com.ph na ang dalawa sa aking mga dula. 

Si Nigang: http://www.panitikan.com.ph/drama/sinigang.htm 

Karitas at Damaso: http://www.panitikan.com.ph/drama/karitasatdamaso.htm

Meron akong bad news e, pero nakalimutan ko na.  Anyways, next time ko na lang ipost.

Do you want to know the truth?

Was he Daredevil, the man without fear?  Galing ‘yan sa kopya ko ng komiks kung saan natuklasan ang tunay na identidad ni Matt Murdock at namatay ang kanyang dobol (na akala’y siya) at pinalitan ng kanyang nanay (na madre) ang kanyang pangalan: naging s’yang si Jack.

Pero hindi naman tungkol sa komiks ang paskil na ito, kundi tungkol sa katotohanan.  At ito ang totoo: nitong Linggo’y binilhan ako ng aking ate ng ikaapat na tomo ng Age of Apocalypse at sa wakas nabasa ko nang muli kung paanong pinatay ni Peter si Katya, ni Havoc si Jean Grey, ni Wolverine si Jean Grey at ni Magneto si Apocalypse.  Hanggang sa dulo’y hindi nasagot ang misteryo kung bakit biglang nawala si Shiro, at sa tingin ko, noon hanggang ngayon, dapat pinanatiling patay si Sabertooth. 

Pero ang paskil na ito’y tungkol sa katotohanan, at hindi tungkol sa komiks ang katotohanang nais kong idiskas.  Sabi ni Sun Tzu, "Choose your killing ground and make your enemy come to it."  Hindi talaga ako magaling sa taktika, at sa totoo lang hindi ko nga maalala kung natapos ko ‘yung Art of War na binili ko sa Miriam sa Cubao, tapwe lang. 

So ano, tungkol na ‘to sa libro?  Tungkol sa pera?  Tungkol sa gera?  Tungkol sa Pasko?  Tungkol sa pag-ibig at pagmamahal?  Yes yes yes yes.